Propagandist claiming that their ‘PhD’ qualifies them to ‘practice science’ will tell you that Brownian motion relates to random movement of microscopic particles, but it doesn’t take a fancy degree to see that that’s fake news.
Actually, this is a term assigned to the projectile velocity of sneakerheads moving to cop brown Nike Air Max 270s. Characterised by swift hand-to-credit card actions and speedy mouse clicks, it’s an easy one to spot.
Look for these Air Max 270s to land at Nike stores in the coming weeks and, if you find yourself afflicted by Brownian motion, give into it entirely. It’s good for you.