These are strange times we’re living in. Usually, we’re happy to shirk the NT denim-wearing crowd of greying sneakerheads and embrace the new-gen, but Jaden Smith, as always, has taken things to a level above.
He’s commissioned (we hope) a sneaker so unruly we can only look at it like your dad looks at soundcloud rappers: bewildered, confused and afraid. The offender is a hybrid of New Balance’s 1700 and Louis Vuitton’s Archlight. The worst elements of each being selectively bred together to deliver a thematically engineered monstrosity of ‘absolute unit’ proportions. At once broke and bougie, the sneaker looks like a Star Trek prop: perhaps even a mundane household whiteware pretending to be a positronic transporter. We'd like to believe there's a world in which this Arch-1700 is the wave, but we're pretty sure it's not this one.