Dear PUMA, That Sounds Gross

are plotting to produce bacterially enhanced adaptive footwear that sounds like it could spark a zombie apocalypse. The Cat have teamed up with the brainiacs at MIT to discover how bacteria can be harnessed to improve the performance of sportswear and sneakers. Hear us out...

The first concept they’ve discussed is a breathing shoe that will include cavities of bacteria, which will react with a wearer’s physiology to eat away air channels in the upper. What could possibly go wrong? There’s also been talk of insoles laced with electrodes that read the levels and reactions of bacteria to produce data on performance.

As clever as the whole biodesign concept may be, we predict it'll be difficult to bring consumers around to the concept of materials laced with shoe-eating bacteria.