Back in the day, also known as the early 2000s, sneakerheads were social pariahs. They were a weird bunch that would spend their paychecks on new Jordans instead of new socks. A popular pairing with these Jordans was washed-out bootcut denim in unironic homage to their style icon Michael Jordan. Looking back, these fashion transgressions were forgivable, because sneakerheads rocked the freshest kicks.
Today, it seems like everybody is a sneakerhead, so the playing field has been reset. No longer does a nice pair of sneakers save a poorly matched ensemble. It’s never been more important that your outfit is as sharp as your shoes. After all, the jawnz maketh the sneakerhead. You don’t have to dress like a traffic cone as your statement look, but with this dead serious advice from our resident fashionistas, you’ll standout from a crowd of general-release sneakerheads.
Confidence Trumps All
If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, flaunt it anyway, and keep posting your ‘fits online until the growing echo chamber deafens out all criticism. It’s how your favourite designers keep going season after season.
The Demna Drip
During the short-lived years when #teamcozy was a thing, you gained subtle flex points if you paired UltraBOOSTS with Reigning Champ sweatpants. That was easy. Since then, luxury brands now occupy the upper end of streetwear aspirations. You must match your Balenciaga Triple S with an equally flamboyant Vetements raincoat if you don’t want to be another street couture clone. If you can’t afford the Triple S, pray your piddling Instagram following is enough for Naked Wolfe to send you a similar style in return for a #sponsored #influencer post.
Power in Numbers
It’s too risky to be a complete outsider. Find solidarity and validation in seeing your fellow peers adopt similar looks. Start a Facebook group called ‘The Drip Gallery’ and share your looks with each other before wearing the outfits in the real world. Then make the group ‘Secret’ to cap the amount of members, and to prevent your unique look from being too homogenous. If you’re struggling to recruit, you’ll find someone just like you at the next week-long camp-out for the latest hot sneaker.
Taking it Offline
In real life, no one actually dresses like they do on Instagram. Falling short of being an influencer and receiving free product, most of us have to work a 9 to 5. Some of you even have to wear a suit – but it shouldn’t stop you from living your best sneakerhead life. Sneak in some black All Stars instead of your old oxfords. Upgrade to Air Force 1s once you enter middle management, because no one would question you. Finally, once you become a Jordan-wearing board member calling the shots, you know you’ve made it. Button-ups and high-interest savings accounts are the gateways to fiscal responsibility, which is a timeless look.
Clouty Content is Currency
We pray for our daily flex. After all, you’re only worth the number of likes your Instagram post gets - unless you live in Australia and Canada, where likes are currently hidden and life is meaningless. However, if you’re not interested in statistical validation, it’s time to wear that ‘OG sneakerhead since the 90s’ hat with pride. Stunting in anything made before 2015 is now considered archival, so pull out those clearance outlet gold box era SB Dunks, and tell everybody that Travis Scott doesn’t have them yet.
Keep it Fun
And dress like Lil Uzi Vert. If there is someone that lives all of these style tips, it’s Lil Uzi Vert. That is all.