Real Talk: Retro Sneakers Are Uncomfortable AF (But We Still Love Wearing Them)

The adage ‘beauty over pain’ is most acutely experienced wearing retro sneakers. High heel-wearers may say otherwise, but this is Sneaker Freaker, not Stiletto Freaker. Anyway, masochism comes standard with a pair of Air Max reissues, flat-soled Chucks and brick Jordans, among other models. They may look super sick on-foot, but let’s be real: they’re uncomfortable AF! Despite all the biomechanical damage chipping away at sneakerheads’ soles, looks are really all that matter.

Numbers Don’t Lie

A little while ago, SF posted an imperative on social media: ‘Name a sneaker you wish you could wear but is too uncomfortable.’

The results from the audience were damning. Nike maintained their dominance in all categories – probably not one they’d like to, in this case – by taking out 13 of the top 15 most uncomfortable shoes. Per the hypothesis of this Real Talk, the top five models were the Air Jordan 1, Air Jordan 4, Blazer, Air Max 97 and Dunks (regular and SB versions were tallied together). Objectively, it’s no secret that these designs aren’t plush puppies, especially considering the fact most of them are around 30-plus years old and the Blazer clocks in at over 50. It’d be naive to think an objectively obsolete performance design doesn’t hold up today in the comfort stakes, especially when the new pairs aren’t quite one-to-one remakes of the original.