Before he got into the big reveal, faux LaVar took a moment to turn the spotlight on his eldest. ‘What a year for Lonzo,’ he said, before dropping some stats. ‘My boy averaged 50 points a game, 100 assists, 500 touch downs. And he was just certified 100 per cent fresh by Rotten Tomatoes — never lost!’ Just like in real life, the fact that Lonzo averaged a measly 10 points per game doesn’t halt his rant.
He jumps into BBB promo by whipping out the ‘Zotiva’. Only $500 a pair, the sneaker (which is really a sandal glued to an Air Max 95 sole) is promised to be ‘lightweight, breathable,’ and feature a strap ‘that will leave your heel raw as hell’.
It might be a parody, but in today’s climate we can’t guarantee Balenciaga won’t see it and release a version of their own. Take a look at the sneaker below so that you get the joke when they do.