Reminding us of the disaster that was the Michael Jackson LA GEAR ‘BAD’ shoe, Nike have gone and studded out their Court Force model with bronze dingleberries. We’re not sure if the intention was to create a harder edge for metal heads, or something a little “fancy” for the denim and perm brigade, but this sneaker is heroically implausible. We would probably have applauded if they had really gone for it and ‘Bobby Dazzlered’ it to the max with pointy stars and a chrome finish – instead we get this straight edge nightmare. It had to be posted though, if not for the fact that it proves they let the interns in the design department get one through occasionally, but also so that fans of Vyvyan Basterd will rejoice.

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