Do The Mike Thing

Mark

We went to the city, just Michael and Me.

The other day, whilst giving my left hand a Taiwanese hand stretch massage with my right hand, I heard a knock on the door. It was Michael Jordan! I was so surprised to see him when he said "Hey Mark, what's up?" and I was like "Hey mate, what's doin?". He replied "nada dawg, I got some time, you wanna go hang out" and I was like "sh*t yeah Mr 'air'!" So we headed off.

I didn't really know where to take him, my palms were sweaty, I was paranoid and nervous, so we walked around the city for a bit. Michael walks really fast coz he takes big steps. Gee, a lot of people were looking at us. After a while, I thought maybe we could go to Provider in Manchester Lane and check out some sneakers, but we had to catch a tram to get there. While waiting for a tram I tried calling my doctor to tell him I think I was talking to a cardboard cut out, but I couldn't reach him. Anyway, we continued to Provider, but when we got there it was closed. I was sad, Michael seemed rather consistent with his moods and facial expression the entire day. Funny that. Maybe that's why he is a champion! He always knew when we were having photos taken too. He is so alert and aware of his surroundings. That must be why he is the best basketball player ever! I wonder if he is really Spiderman.

So we went up the road for some Star Bucks, it was here that I really fell in love with Mr Air. We talked religion, politics, history and philosophy, and touched base on our views on the current inflation and reserve bank interest rates, discussed anthropomorphism and also evolution. We talked for hours, gosh. I was telling him about my youth, how I hate daffy duck because of his stupid lisp and how he never really helped anybody in those cartoons (Michael agreed), and my preferred choice of deodorant. Michael in turn was sharing his intimate details, like his love for classical music, how he wore designer suits for years and had them custom made by his personal tailor, and how when he buys exotic cars he needs to get the seat rail modified because of his height. He also mentioned how he really wanted me to take him to the museum, that big Ferris wheel on the Yarra, and then later in the evening possibly to the clubs as he was now single and wanted to party.

I laughed with him on many occasions, and I love my new best friend. We walked and talked heaps. By the end of the day I was so tired, I took him home to play him in a battle of NBA 08 on Playstation 3, and also because I really needed to use the toilet.