cool as fuck! (my mate Andy Murphy doesn’t like them cos he thinks your toes get too hot cos of the rubber shell), but seriously why would you skate in them? They are too good to get those gay as ollie marks, don’t get me wrong, Andy’s a good bloke I just don’t think he has a clue what he’s talking about when it comes to shoes. So anyway the first pair I got was white with a green stripe, I got them in Hong Kong and they had a padded tongue and an awesome woven label that said adidas superstar‚ (see picture) I didn’t wear them that much as I only had 2 green t-shirts one of which I wasn’t that fussed on. I had a lot of black t-shirts so the next pair I got was white with black stripes, well I didn’t really get them because of that sole reason, it was cos that was the only colour available in Australia at the time. I think I got a royal blue colorway next, basically I just bought what was available in Australia, and then often bought my t-shirts to match. All the Australian-bought pairs had the non-padded tongue and had a trefoil printed on them. I think early on in the piece I got a pair of Ultrastars, they are a shelltoe but had a bigger piece at the back and had metal eyelets - anyone who saw the RunDMC shoes released after DMC died will know the shape I am talking about, anyway who gives a shit cos they were ugly as fuck and I think they helped usher in the ‘Superstar Metal’ which was basically a normal superstar but with metal eyelets. I can’t tell you how shit these look (no picture, I don’t want to hurt your eyes), and I make no apologies to the fools that bought them, really what do you need metal eyelets for?
If you need to pull your laces that tight maybe you should think about buying a smaller size shoe. Other superstars that I have bought and not really enjoyed are the ones that have coloured leather (see photo) but the rubber is still white, so basically you look like a clown. I foolishly bought 2 pairs of these in some deluded quest to get more and more colours, I have worn both of them about 4 times collectively, each time looking down at my feet after about an hour feeling awkward and then going home to change my clown shoes. I have often wondered if you could colour in the rubber with a texta, do you reckon you could? Please send theories care of this magazine. Those shoes would look pretty good then. Does anyone else have trouble typing some times cos you text a lot I was looking for the ‘?’ just then and though I might get it by pressing the number 1 - 4 times just like on my phone. My all time favourite pair I bought in Nagoya, Japan. (my god what a jetsetter I am) I was stuck just outside of town at some rock venue desperate to buy some shoes and I had to get my Japanese speaking friend to convince 2 local kids to drive me into town and buy some shoes, talk about the most painful 30 minute lift. They spoke no english and all I could say in Japanese was ‘really?’ and ‘fireworks’. That got old in about 2 minutes. They took me to about 10 stores in town, each time I got the same response when I asked if they had my size, which is Japanese 28.5. NO NO NO NO! The largest size they make is 28. If you love shoes and have big feet don’t go to Japan, you see the most awesome shoes in colours you have never seen and none of them fit you. Most stores take you up to the back of the shop where they have a little 28.5+ section which has the worst shoes you have ever seen. It’s unbelievably frustrating. Anyway in about the tenth store I saw six colorways I didn’t have.
I asked for all of them and the guy asked what size I told him, well he wrote it on a piece of paper, instead of saying NO NO NO NO! he gave me a funny look and went out back, he came back with one box and it was dusty (it was kinda surreal like he was bringing me buried treasure or some shit) but in it was a pair of shelltoes with two blues stripes and one red (its a funny shade of blue but I am deliriously happy now as I have a stripey tee with exact matching blue and red stripes) they also had the woven adidas superstar‚ and the tongue was made of nylon as well as the sole being a very fine herringbone. I think that you could describe it by saying they had more ridges per inch (like a condom - how is it that we say per inch, even though we have the metric system in Australia and don’t use inches at any other time except when describing penises) than a normal pair (see picture). These shelltoes were made in the Philippines, all my other pairs are made in Korea or China or Taiwan (none in Australia for some reason). I was stoked on them, my Japanese guides were stoked on me getting them and hopefully you are stoked about reading about them, so I have included this picture to help with your excitement. As this article is quickly becoming pointless I would like to leave you with: Shelltoes are cool, don’t skate in them, Superstar metals are not cool, if you have big feet don’t go to Japan and don’t leave the house without your t-shirt and shoes matching in colour, or alternatively get psychiatric help.